Restroom Reflections and Ramblings

I am currently writing this entry in my head as I encounter yet another awkward first day of work. By my fifth company shift, you would have probably guessed that social interactions, series of introductions, office tours and company orientations would be a piece of cake for me. But no, not me. That’s not going to happen to the queen of awkward right here.  Yes, fifth first day of work and I just turned twenty-three.  Trust me, I would not be able to get past this stage until a few couple of weeks from now, and my pitcher-load of coffee intake and anxiety-eating is not of helping either.

In the midst of mental writing, I am being interrupted by the instruction of my upcoming tasks for this company. No complaints. I am just taking it all in.  After all, that’s what life is all about.  A list of meaningful obligations, all vying for our attention.

I started this blog when I was looking for things to do in my spare time of employment.  In writing, I can deceive judgmental co-workers into thinking that I am actually working.  What started out as an afternoon hobby turned out to be my outlet of passion and recreation. I find happiness in knowing that my useless thoughts could actually reach people all over the world.  I find it very amusing that a person is willing to waste his precious few minutes for reading my crap, er, craft.  Feedbacks and stats reassure me that I have provided simple entertainment to a lot of people.  But above all, I realized it was me who got entertained the most.

I did a screenshot of my stats on its first month.  After that, I promised myself not to overly-obsess on figures.  Thank you, (imaginary) readers!

This morning, I contemplated on being on hiatus.  Unlike my previous job, what I do now requires actual work.  I feared I may not have a lot of time on my hand. I shrugged off the idea immediately thinking a passionless life isn’t such a bright idea. I have the strength to stand being a corporate slave for awhile just as long as I can set aside time doing what I love to do. And unlike actual work, this does not have monetary rewards, just pure happiness.

Happiness is also what I felt when I found a PWD Restroom this morning as I enter my new workplace. It was the same kind of restroom I used in my previous office, another outlet where I can “let it all out” when I am “disabled” to work.  In this moment of rambling and reflection, I also feel my stress-eating finally kicking in.

Now, excuse me while I wash myself off this restroom. I just had some weird lunch and…ugh forget it! I need to orient myself with this toilet.

The Good in the Loss of Pacquiao

So I am writing this a few days after the big shenanigan.  By this time, I am hoping that Pacquiao fans have a partially recovered and the Filipino boiling blood had finally died down.

Manny Pacquiao is the best boxer ever – hands down.  He has surely made a long way from being a balut vendor to the People’s Champ that he is now.  He could knock out any opponent if he could in no time.  So when I heard he is going to have a fight with this Timothy Bradley dude, the thought of another hero’s welcome came across my mind.  I did not watch the fight.  No, really.  I was catching up with the Saturday Night Live reruns on another channel and I did not even consider the effort of catching it live.  Not much of a sports fan, obviously.  But as any other Filipino, I have already assumed the fact that he won.  Well apparently, he didn’t.

Everyone was taken aback.  I spent my time retweeting hate-sentiments of random celebrities because I, myself, could not even compose what my thoughts are at that moment.  Shockingly, I did not know what to say.  I watched the replays with the hopes that the decision be adverse and that Buffer retracts the shit he said.  Sadly, it was the biggest lie that everyone saw in synchrony.  And at that moment, I realized Snoop Dogg was right.  That decision was bullshit, mothafucka!

As Pacquiao gracefully accepts his loss, all the rest spat on the match with much disgust.  In my attempt to console the melancholy Filipino fighting spirit.  I will recount to you why it is good that Pacquiao lost.

Among all things, the show Manny Many Prizes is the silliest thing I have ever seen on national TV.  His attempt on acting and hosting is the biggest disgrace on the craft of entertainment.  I would like to give him props for Show Me Da Manny but that show named after him only gave him two speaking lines per episode.  Let’s not even recall the movies he had made in the past or else I’d be swallowing a mouthful of vomit in no time. I am sure there are lots of ways to help the poor Filipinos and he being an actor is not one of them.

I commend Manny for wanting to share his blessings to his countrymen.  Putting up a business might be a good way to uplift the economy but I plead to God that he does not pursue politics anymore.  I do not support his ideals in any way, or the little birds ass-kissing their way to the famed athlete.  I hope he and Chavit Singson finds the time to read The Common Misconceptions on RH Bill.  If he cannot, he can ask his bitch, Buboy Fernandez to read it for him.  I am pretty convinced he has done similar favor when it comes to the Bible.

Manny mixes his devotion with politics.  The State and the Church are separate entities for a reason.  I cannot support a politician who does not support the minority.  A decent congressman cannot say, “I represent the Filipinos…except the homosexuals.”  Like the poor, if they have the choice to be a part of the majority or be ridiculed, they would probably choose the former.  Though he denied quoting Leviticus, I will still quote Jesus, “Let the sinless person cast the first stone.”  One name I have in mind — Krista Ranillo.

No need for a flashback on Manny’s womanizing and gambling ways for he is now a changed man.  Although a lot of critics blame his loss to his new-found devotion, I think it is sick that you blame religion more than you should blame the Celtics vs. Heat game.  I am not sure if Preacher Manny could help him improve his game plan but I am very sure he could help him find himself as a person, and give Jinkee the peace of mind she deserves.

“I believe I won the fight,” Manny said with much conviction on his post-fight interview.  I could not agree more. As his fans lose their dignity in the process of enumerating the reasons why the fight is bogus, Manny remained a real class act accepting whatever the judges say.  He instead finds comfort in knowing that he is the real winner, and people with open-minds can see it clearly.  The way I look at it, he really did win. In victory, he taught us what an ordinary person can achieve.  And in defeat, he taught us what a respectable Filipino can stand for.  That kind of person deserves a shrine in Monumento.  I just hope the misjudgment will serve as a wake up call that he should focus on doing what he does best.  He is a good boxer, a damn good one.  Let’s keep it that way.  When he knocks politics and showbiz out, then he could really get ready to rumble.

Theories Why I’m Still Single

Many girls out there are asking: Why am I still single? I’m sure every other girl/woman/lady asks the same question. Pare-pareho tayo ng litanya: “I’m smart, I’m not completely unfortunate looking, I’m funny and I’m willing to commit but WHY THE FUCK AM I STILL SINGLE?” Well, instead of going crazy asking myself that question, I decided to come up with a few answers. I’m not saying I’m drop dead gorgeous and as smart as Marie Curie but come on, every guy I’ve talked to told me they want a smart, witty, sensitive and attractive girlfriend. I’m sure all the other ladies my age possess these qualities and at the risk of being redundant, we all ask ourselves: Why are we still single? Allow me to present the top three theories that sprung from my demented mind:

1. Naghihirap ang bansa natin at bumabagsak ang ekonomiya. Hindi naman kasi ganun kadali ang buhay ngayon di ba? Nagtitipid ang mga lalaki dahil mahal na ang bilihin ngayon. Sa panliligaw palang, kahit sa Dangwa ka bumili ng bulaklak, magkano na ang gagastusin mo. Isipin mo pa ang pang-gasolina papunta doon at ang katakot-takot na traffic. Eh di sana, ipinang-lunch na nila yun hindi ba?

Tapos siyempre dahil kailangan magmukha silang concerned, kailangan lagi nilang tinatawagan at pinapadalhan ng text messages ang nililigawan nila. Isipin niyo nalang yung load na nagagastos nila or yung binabayaran nila sa bill ng telepono. Minsan, demanding pa tayong mga babae dahil gusto natin imported na chocolates or flowers na mamahalin. Kung hindi naman tayo demanding, gusto lang talaga nila magpa-impress kaya mamahalin ang ibibigay na mga regalo/suhol sa nililigawan.

Siyempre, pag naging kayo na, magastos parin. Because of the infamous male ego and pride, hindi pwedeng sagot ni babae ang date kaya si lalaki parin ang magbabayad. Kahit KKB, gagastos parin si lalaki. Sayang ang pera. Even if you love each other that much, love won’t pay for the movies you know. And think of the gifts. Every Christmas, birthday, Valentine’s Day, Anniversary, etc., you have to give your significant other something. Especially pag Christmas kasi sisipsip pa sa magulang, kapatid, pinsan, etc. ng girlfriend/nililigawan at bibigyan sila lahat ni boyfriend/manliligaw ng regalo. Mahirap kumita ngayon dahil mataas ang unemployment rate, mahal ang bilihin at likas na kuripot ang mga lalaki. Hence, females like me have no boyfriends.

2. May mga babaeng perfectionist. Admit it, every female is looking for the perfect man. Apparently, the perfect man does not exist… yet. What are the qualities we look for in a man? Gwapo, mayaman, responsible, mature, sensitive, funny, smart, presentable, gentleman… the list is endless. We have to face the fact that the perfect man doesn’t exist kasi it’s practically impossible to find all these qualities in one man. If we ever do, the guy is gay, a priest or in a realtionship! No, I’m not saying that we have to settle for second best but maybe, just maybe, the perfect guy is out there, we just have to lower the standard a notch. He might not be perfect in every way but his flaws just might be the very reason that you will love him. Because his imperfections may be the reason why he might need the person made for him… for that person to be the one to pick him up when his flaws take him down. I’m not sure if that made sense but I do hope you get the point.

3. The last great theory (and the most likely) of my demented mind is that there are more males born than females every minute of the day. I don’t know what the ratio is now but a couple of years back it was four females to one male. Can you believe that? Imagine sharing one boyfriend with three others. Plus you have to face the fact that maybe that one male wants to be a female. Or that one male devotes himself to God. Siyempre, hindi mo kakaribalin ang Diyos di ba? Or that one male is taken. Would any female want to play second fiddle? I know I wouldn’t.

Patience is a virtue, that’s my mantra. The theories I made up are just there to console me whenever I feel I’m missing out on something because I’m single. Case in point: Valentine’s Day or weddings or family gatherings na hinahanapan ako ng boyfriend. He’s out there somewhere, the boyfriend that at the moment is missing in action. While he’s not there yet, enjoy being single. Sabi nga ng iba, wala pa tayong sakit ng ulo and pag gigimmick, sa parents lang tayo magpapaalam at walang message na biglang darating from a boyfriend asking us where we are, who we’re with and what time tayo uuwi. The perfect guy for me will come along when I’m not looking for it. And when he does, I’m sure everything will be worth the wait. 

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In response to:  The Lies I Tell My Single Self by The Get-a-Life Project