Tag Archives: employee

Tardiness Excuses That Will Make You Smile

So your late for work and your boss hardly noticed because he came in later than you. You think you are off the hook. Well, not so fast. That is until you get that memo from HR (screw them!) saying you have to explain why the fuck you should not be punished for wasting sixteen minutes of what could have been valuable productive work hours. You list in your head all the possible reason there is. MRT malfunction. Headache. Emergency. The usual. It is just an excuse letter that you have to make, not a short story. But believe it or not, tardiness excuses have been some sort of entertainment for most HR personnel. Here are some of what they have gathered:

1. The biometrics is wrong.

Ay, oo kasi panginoon ka. Bakit hindi na lang relos mo ang sundin namin sa pag in?
 
 
2. Did not wake up

 

You mean “did not wake up early“, right? O Diyos ko, sana nga. Sana talaga!
3. Happy birthday
 
Thank you pero sa May 1 pa po birthday ko.
 
4. No hot water

 

Kawawa ka naman. Sana matapos na ang delubyo nang pagkawasak ng heater/dispenser niyo.
5. Hangover
 
Hmmmm hindi ka nagyayaya.
 
6. PBB audition
 
Malamang hindi mo naatim ang pangarap mong maging reality star dahil wala namang “Slater” sa masterlist.
 
7. Alarm clock lost battery
 
Okay, that was mine. But I really thought it was convincing until my boss told me I have already used it twice. Sorry!
 
8. Dysmenorr Dysmenorrhe Stomach ache
 
Oy si ate, ‘di nakahanap ng dictionary.
 
9. LVM (Loose Vowel Movement)
 
Okay na sana. Iisipin na sana ng nagbabasa na typographical error kaso may open-close parenthesis ka pang nalalaman!
 
10. Mind grain
 
Baka nga.
 
When you see that one person in the Human Resources Department smiling alone from her cubicle, please understand. And if you came in tardy for work, as if the hassle of almost dying from running late is not enough, know that it is your duty to come up with lame excuses. But when you do, please make it a good one. Who knows? That pretty, innocent HR girl whom you submitted your letter to could be writing a blog about it. And soon enough, she too will have a mind grain.
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Restroom Reflections and Ramblings

I am currently writing this entry in my head as I encounter yet another awkward first day of work. By my fifth company shift, you would have probably guessed that social interactions, series of introductions, office tours and company orientations would be a piece of cake for me. But no, not me. That’s not going to happen to the queen of awkward right here.  Yes, fifth first day of work and I just turned twenty-three.  Trust me, I would not be able to get past this stage until a few couple of weeks from now, and my pitcher-load of coffee intake and anxiety-eating is not of helping either.

In the midst of mental writing, I am being interrupted by the instruction of my upcoming tasks for this company. No complaints. I am just taking it all in.  After all, that’s what life is all about.  A list of meaningful obligations, all vying for our attention.

I started this blog when I was looking for things to do in my spare time of employment.  In writing, I can deceive judgmental co-workers into thinking that I am actually working.  What started out as an afternoon hobby turned out to be my outlet of passion and recreation. I find happiness in knowing that my useless thoughts could actually reach people all over the world.  I find it very amusing that a person is willing to waste his precious few minutes for reading my crap, er, craft.  Feedbacks and stats reassure me that I have provided simple entertainment to a lot of people.  But above all, I realized it was me who got entertained the most.

I did a screenshot of my stats on its first month.  After that, I promised myself not to overly-obsess on figures.  Thank you, (imaginary) readers!

This morning, I contemplated on being on hiatus.  Unlike my previous job, what I do now requires actual work.  I feared I may not have a lot of time on my hand. I shrugged off the idea immediately thinking a passionless life isn’t such a bright idea. I have the strength to stand being a corporate slave for awhile just as long as I can set aside time doing what I love to do. And unlike actual work, this does not have monetary rewards, just pure happiness.

Happiness is also what I felt when I found a PWD Restroom this morning as I enter my new workplace. It was the same kind of restroom I used in my previous office, another outlet where I can “let it all out” when I am “disabled” to work.  In this moment of rambling and reflection, I also feel my stress-eating finally kicking in.

Now, excuse me while I wash myself off this restroom. I just had some weird lunch and…ugh forget it! I need to orient myself with this toilet.

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