So your late for work and your boss hardly noticed because he came in later than you. You think you are off the hook. Well, not so fast. That is until you get that memo from HR (screw them!) saying you have to explain why the fuck you should not be punished for wasting sixteen minutes of what could have been valuable productive work hours. You list in your head all the possible reason there is. MRT malfunction. Headache. Emergency. The usual. It is just an excuse letter that you have to make, not a short story. But believe it or not, tardiness excuses have been some sort of entertainment for most HR personnel. Here are some of what they have gathered:
1. The biometrics is wrong.
Ay, oo kasi panginoon ka. Bakit hindi na lang relos mo ang sundin namin sa pag in?
2. Did not wake up
You mean “did not wake up early“, right? O Diyos ko, sana nga. Sana talaga!
3. Happy birthday
Thank you pero sa May 1 pa po birthday ko.
4. No hot water
Kawawa ka naman. Sana matapos na ang delubyo nang pagkawasak ng heater/dispenser niyo.
Hmmmm hindi ka nagyayaya.
6. PBB audition
Malamang hindi mo naatim ang pangarap mong maging reality star dahil wala namang “Slater” sa masterlist.
7. Alarm clock lost battery
Okay, that was mine. But I really thought it was convincing until my boss told me I have already used it twice. Sorry!
Dysmenorr Dysmenorrhe Stomach ache
Oy si ate, ‘di nakahanap ng dictionary.
9. LVM (Loose Vowel Movement)
Okay na sana. Iisipin na sana ng nagbabasa na typographical error kaso may open-close parenthesis ka pang nalalaman!
10. Mind grain
When you see that one person in the Human Resources Department smiling alone from her cubicle, please understand. And if you came in tardy for work, as if the hassle of almost dying from running late is not enough, know that it is your duty to come up with lame excuses. But when you do, please make it a good one. Who knows? That pretty, innocent HR girl whom you submitted your letter to could be writing a blog about it. And soon enough, she too will have a mind grain.