Tag Archives: lifestyle

My Pair of Purple Socks

I’ve slept in my purple socks for six years now.
I’ve always loved it without knowing why, without knowing how.
But I must keep in mind that it won’t be long ‘til it’ll wear out.
I must buy a new one without a doubt. 

I tried the pink one, it suits and fits right.
I can wear it all day and also all night.
But I should also try on the one in red.
The color is quite “me”, the man said. 

But then I saw the yellow one.
The color of which reminds me of the ray of sun.
Still, I won’t buy it without trying the one in green.
Its color glooms like I’ve never seen.

Finally, I spotted the purple socks like the one I used to.
The only difference is it’s darker and brand new.
I’ll definitely buy it and wear it for another six years or so.
I’ll ask for size three and it’ll be delight to my toe

My request was not granted for it was not available
My emotion was low and my outburst was intolerable
I cried and I cried. I cried inside the mall.
Then I realized it’s more fun to sleep without socks after all.

Purple Sock
The common name for a medical condition in which the rectum becomes inverted and is extruded through the anus. This is a very painful condition which is generally the result of vigorous anal sex. It is called a “purple sock” because that is the best description for how the inverted rectum looks. (Source: Urban Dictionary)
Purple Socks
Code word describing the act of going into public without wearing undergarments. (Source: Urban Dictionary)
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How to Dress Like a Hipster

Since the ancient times of the sixties, our parents have witnessed a significant amount of people who have been bending the rules through arts – may it be in fashion, music, literature, religious and political views. These people have evolved through time from what we called ‘beatniks’ and now, ‘hipsters’. These 21st century nonconformist fools were theorized to be originated from mega cities such as Brooklyn, Los Angeles, San Francisco, Melbourne and London where arts and culture are heavily revered. However, no word from Mr. Webster could really encompass their description up to this date.

My hypothesis on why the so-called ‘hipsters’ are rampant in these venues is because their government does not have much pressing problems to focus on, thus, they have the luxury of time in developing and spreading this epidemic. Albeit Philippines is on the opposing pole of this situation, I believe that our country, despite the lack of financial support from the administration, can put their best foot forward for the sake of cheap imitation of the west (i.e. Spiderman vs. Gagamboy, class A Louis Vuitton bags and pirated DVDs).

For your guidance, I have listed down head-to-toe tips on how any regular Filipino can dress like a hipster:

  1. Everyday is summer. Therefore, don that long, wavy beach hair complete with dusts and salt. You may consult with Tony and Jackey or any Korean stylist for that matter. Digi perm may cost at around Php 3,000 – 6,000 depending on hair length. Oh, the price of looking homeless!

If you’re too lazy to maintain a long ‘do, you may opt for a short pixie haircut. Think Nick Carter post-Backstreet’s-Back-alright. Just make sure you use gel or hairspray to make it look as if you have just gotten out of bed. Play Garbage’s Androgyny while you’re at it.

  1. Facial hair. Regardless of gender. The uglier, the better.
  1. Head gear is optional. Straw fedora hats never go out of style. While bandanas tied around the head ala Ja Rule’s Murder Inc. phase is the ‘it’ thing now – looks best with an arm cast. Gartered string headband worn around the forehead (excuse my lack of knowledge for fashion terminologies) is a recurring trend among the hippies – looks best with pot on hand.
  1. Ray Ban Wayfarer. Even when the sun went down ten hours ago. Even if you are not on the wanted list of the authorities. Even if you are not a rock star hiding from TMZ. Even if you are not inherently blind. And oh, cheap imitations are excused, but only because of our country’s poor economic condition. Thick-rimmed faux eyeglass is only a daytime alternative.
  1. Choose your era. Are you stuck in the glorious grunge era? Do you still think John Lennon is the greatest literary icon of all time? Dress accordingly. Hunt down items from pre-loved stores in Cubao X. Or better yet, buy straight from the catalog like Topshop/Topman, Forever21 or Uniqlo. Overwash it. Pass it off as vintage. No matter what happens, deny that you side with the capitalists.
  1. Get an artsy hobby. Flaunt it as much as you can. Drawing books are a good buy from National Bookstore. If you are into photography, hang that lomo camera around your neck. No, Instagram does not count as photography. En route to a music festival, carry around your camping tent…and half of your life’s belongings.
  1. Limit your shoe closet to loafers, brogues and Doc Martens. Doc Martens are expensive but can last a lifetime. Plus, it can withstand that rain-or-shine M83 concert you have waited your whole life to get into.

Following these tips might seem like such a fun idea. But prepare yourself to be ridiculed by fellow hipsters. For them, hipsters are no more than social pests who are exploiting post-war cultures as if it is ready-to-wear. Hipsters hating hipsters is not hypocrisy. It is from the very core: irony. I wish you put a mental post-it note on that word. At the end of the day, nobody likes hipsters. Even they hate themselves. I do not blame them.

While you are on your way to the thrift store, I hope you remember the emo kids you have left to perish on Dashboard Confessional forums. Pray to God you don’t suffer the same fate. While you consider yourself superior to those who embrace the ‘lamestream’, while you hold disdain for music that has gained exposure, I hope you also think about the conforming ways you do to counter normalcy. Does conformity define the rebel that you really are? Is this really a movement you desire to be fitting in? A movement towards what? Is this the vapid generation you wish to contribute to your country? If so, why? Do you really need me to tell you all these? Seriously? I mean, seriously?

When you have answered all those questions, feel free to tweet me about it. Until then, I will be preparing myself for the next NKOTBSB concert.

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